CHAPTER 91 Even after Peter's death, the Great family stayed in charge,
2 Which is how there came to be aCatherine the Great,
3 Who also believed in being modern,
4 bAs well as in having sex about once every half-hour,
5 cWhich made her very popular in Europe,
6 dUntil one of her lovers fell on her,
7 And couldn't call for help in time to save her,
8 Because his bridle was too tight.
CHAPTER 101 Then there were other czars,
2 With names like eNicholas and Alexander,
3 And fAlexander and Nicholas,
4 As well as gNicholas and Alexander,
5 Who invented the modern Russkie military tradition,
6 Which involves sending millions of unarmed peasants into combat in the snow,
7 Against ferocious enemies led by intelligent generals,
8 Just to see what will happen.
9 This explains why the Russkies have more and bigger monuments to their war dead than any other nation on earth,
10 And why the Russkie peasants got so fond of the czars over the years.
CHAPTER 111 Eventually, hNapoleon Bonaparte thought it would be fun to kill a few million Russkie peasants,
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2 And maybe conquer Russia too,
3 iWhich didn't work out very well for Napoleon,
4 But made the Russkies feel pretty proud of themselves.
5 In fact, the Russkie victory over Napoleon resulted in the first Russkie writer,
6 Whose name was jTolstoy,
7 And who wrote an incredibly long novel called War and Peace,
8 Which is so great that millions of people the world over are taught to pretend that they've read it,
9 Even though nobody has the slightest idea what it's about.
CHAPTER 121 Not surprisingly, Tolstoy led to other Russkie writers,
2 Namely kDostoyevski,
3 And lChekhov,
4 Who discovered that it was possible to turn unspeakable misery into great literature.
5 Dostoyevski wrote thousands of huge novels about misery,
6 Including m'Crime and Punishment,'
7 And 'The Possessed,'
8 And 'The Brothers Karamazov,'
9 And nothers,
10 Based on the idea that since life is completely miserable,
11 The best thing to do is spend all your time thinking about it,
12 And being depressed about it,
13 For thousands of pages.
14 oChekhov, on the other hand,
15 Had a completely different idea,
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