2 For centuries,
3 And when they couldn't have a war with another nation, they fought wars with each other,
4 Usually about who would be the next king,
5 Because the Brits believed pretty strongly in the adivine right of kings,
6 Except that they never quite understood the definition of the word "divine,"
7 bBeing under the impression that it was a synonym for "well bred,"
8 Which is to say that practically any Brit cnoble with a confusing enough family tree could claim the throne whenever he wanted to.
9 This resulted in a very complicated line of succession that can't be remembered,
10 Let alone understood,
11 By anyone but Brits,
12 For whom it was an important part of what they called a gentleman's education,
13 dWhich will be discussed later on.
14 Anyway,
15 The Brit line of succession changed hands many times during the Middle Ages,
16 Usually through treachery and murder,
17 eWhich are also an important part of a gentleman's education,
18 And perfectly okay, according to Brit custom,
19 As long as everyone involved is polite and grammatical about it,
20 Which is why there were quite a few royal families in medieval Britain, including Plantagenets,
21 And Lancasters,
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22 And Yorksf,
23 gAnd so on.
24 The Brits' somewhat free-form interpretation of divine right also led to the first English hsport,
25 Which was called King-Baiting,
26 iAnd consisted of finding ways to make life as miserable as possible for whoever was sitting on the throne at the time.
27 The first king to be so baited was jKing John,
28 Who had to sign the Magna Charta,
29 Which is Latin for Great Fun,
30 kAnd consisted of a signed statement by the king that he was an idiot who couldn't be trusted.
CHAPTER 71 King-baiting led to the invention of a peculiar Brit institution called Parliament,
2 Which means "talking at incredible length about how to make life miserable for the king,"
3 And was used principally to bore kings to death.
4 The primary defense the king had against Parliament was the power to dissolve it whenever he got sufficiently bored,
5 Which is why the Brits take credit for inventing the concept called "Balance of Power,"
6 Which had two meanings.
7 lInside Great Britain, Balance of Power meant that the king and Parliament had approximately equal power to make each other miserable.
8 mOutside Great Britain, Balance of Power meant that the Brits would always let the opposition have superior numbers, as long as the Brits could always win the wars.
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