2 For this reason, the island of Britain was invaded by hordes of aAngles and Saxons,
3 Then hordes of bDanes,
4 Then more hordes of cAngles and Saxons,
5 All of which killed as many of the dnatives as they could,
6 Which was a lot,
7 And set about becoming Brits themselves,
8 Which was eventually noticed by some of the eFranks,
9 Who had taken to calling themselves fNormans,
10 gAnd who thought that even living in Britain would be better than spending one more day with the Frogs.
11 They were right, but just barely,
12 Because the Anglo-Saxons, as the thoroughly mongrelized Brits were now calling themselves, refused to accept their hdecisive defeat in the Battle of Hastings,
13 Which would have been the easy thing to do,
14 iAnd instead made life as miserable as possible for the Normans,
15 Which, in view of the fact that misery was invented by the Anglo-Saxons, was pretty damned miserable.
CHAPTER 51 Gradually, the Normans got used to misery,
2 Due to a recurring Brit phenomenon called "assimilation,"
3 Which has to do with the fact that gangs of marauding killers usually have more in common with each other than with the folks who jsuggested they leave home in the first place.
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4 Anyway, the Normans finally became assimilated Brits themselves,
5 Given to wearing fancy uniforms made of kchain mail,
6 And covered with outlandish designs known as lHeraldry,
7 Which are a peculiar system invented by the Brits for the purpose of telling lies about their mmongrel family ntrees on articles of personal apparel.
8 When their uniforms had gotten so fancy that the Brits couldn't stand another day without showing them off to perfect strangers, othey began starting wars with other nations.
9 For example, they got the idea that the pSaracens would be impressed by a grand British entrance into the qHoly Land,
10 rWhich they were,
11 Until the uniforms got covered with blood and dirt in all the desert fighting,
12 sWhereupon the Saracens stopped being impressed by the Brits and sent them back home,
13 Which convinced the Brits that winning wars depended on having clean uniforms,
14 And that "bloody" was a dirty word,
15 Which proved to be a turning point in Brit history,
16 tBecause it was just about the last time they ever lost a war.
CHAPTER 61 One reason the Brits were so good at winning wars was that they kept fighting them virtually nonstop,
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