4 In fact, it's hard to get there and back before winter arrives,
5 Which in Russia almost always involves plenty of snow and ice and a lot less food for your stomacha.
6 Having forgotten this,
7 For some reason,
8 Napoleon succeeded in killing thousands of Russians and getting all the way to Moscow before winter arrived.
9 bThen he remembered about his stomach and raced home to Paris for some good Frog ccuisine,
10 Leaving his army without any dcake,
11 eOr anything else,
12 fExcept the transcendent glory of dying for France in the bloody snow.
CHAPTER 181 Excited by the glorious demise of the Grande Armée in Russia, thousands of gnew troops joined Napoleon for a series of battles against every country in Europe.
2 The new Grande Armée fought in the most valiant Frog tradition,
3 hWhich is to say they lost, causing Napoleon to iresign from his job and move to the island of Elba,
4 Safely tucked away in the Mediterranean,
5 Miles from the French coastline,
6 jWhere everyone would be safe from him,
7 Except that he escaped,
8 kSomehow,
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9 And got all the way back to France,
10 lWhere the glory of it all convinced the army to join him once again,
11 mFor another hundred days,
12 nUntil oWaterloo,
13 pWhere the last of Napoleon's glory slipped away down a sunken road,
14 qCausing him to resign from his job a second time and move to the island of St. Helena,
15 Safely tucked away in the Atlantic Ocean,
16 rMany thousands of miles from the French coastline,
17 sWhere everyone would be safe from him,
18 Except that the Frogs never forgot him,
19 tAnd remembered him fondly,
20 uFor some reason,
21 vWhich suggests that Frogs are every bit as dumb as they are silly.
CHAPTER 191 There was a brilliant Frog named wTalleyrand, who was a minister to Louis the Sixteenth until they cut Louis's head off.
2 And who was then a minister to Napoleon until they exiled the ex-emperor to St. Helena,
3 And who went on to be a minister to xLouis the Eighteenth when the divine right of Louis's was reinstated.
4 It was Talleyrand who played a big part in establishing the Frog foreign policy that sold almost a ythird of North America to the United States for a few million dollars.
5 This shrewd maneuver, along with the loss to the English of zFrance's Canadian colonies, just about finished off France's last chance to be a Chosen Nation.
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