11 And senior managing partners in aconsulting firms,
12 And other stuff like that,
13 And so I keep forgetting that if you had any brains of your own,
14 You'd be an investment banker on bWall Street,
15 With all the cIvy Leaguers who are too smart to dirty their hands with anything even remotely connected to making things.
16 I keep forgetting that what you really like most about your companies is that absolutely everybody in them is blind bone stupid,
17 And perfectly willing to shoot all intellectuals on sight,
18 Including even pseudo-intellectuals,
19 dWith the possible exception of the stupid pseudo-intellectuals who graduate from Ivy League business schools,
20 And can't get a job on Wall Street.
21 What I'm getting at is this:
22 I apologize.
23 I won't bring up any more ereasons,
24 And I won't talk anymore about the importance of hiring stupid people.
25 Instead, I'll give you what you want,
26 Which is a fList,
27 Just like all Harriers want.
28 gAnd I assure you that if you do what is on the List, you will be an incredibly successful Harrier,
29 And never have to think about anything at all.
30 Okay?
31 Feeling better?
32 Super.
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CHAPTER 221 The top item on the List is hbeans.
2 Count those beans,
3 Every day.
4 Beans are ninety-nine percent of your job.
5 iMake sure all your employees know this,
6 jBut never the shareholders.
7 If someone suggests that business involves something other than beans,
8 Fire him,
9 Or have him killed.
10 It's all the same.
CHAPTER 231 kThe beans that matter are this month's beans,
2 lAnd maybe this quarter's too.
3 All other beans belong to the remote future.
CHAPTER 241 mLook out for your own beans.
2 If you don't have a ridiculously huge lump-sum settlement waiting for you at retirement,
3 Arrange for one,
4 nNow.
5 If you don't have a ridiculously huge lump-sum settlement waiting for you in the event of a ohostile takeover,
6 Arrange for one,
7 pNow.
CHAPTER 251 Look out for your qcorporate culture,
2 Especially when the press is around.
3 rLooking out for corporate culture is accomplished by talking,
4 And nothing else.
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