11 And if they don't want handouts from you,
12 aThen you'd be breaking Christ's own rules if you gave them anything,
13 Because that would be doing unto others what they do not want done unto them,
14 Except by the government.
CHAPTER 111 Another thing they didn't have much of in Palestine was things,
2 bWhich there are a lot of nowadays,
3 And it's all well and good to talk about giving everything away and living on Christ's word, with nothing more than a little bread to keep body and soul together,
4 But if you're living in the late twentieth century, that's just a little bit naive, don't you think?
5 I mean, maybe you don't need too many cthings to live comfortably in Palestine,
6 Especially if you're living there so long ago that the Jews haven't even invented retailing yet,
7 Not to mention winter,
8 Which they don't have any of in Palestine,
9 And never did,
10 dWhich makes it pretty easy to wander around the Holy Land talking a lot of nonsense about living on nothing but words,
11 Although it's another story altogether when you have to live in the eNortheast,
12 Where there is snow and ice in the wintertime,
13 And where you can be arrested if you don't have someplace of your own to sleep in at night.
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CHAPTER 121 Let's face it.
2 No matter how good a Judeo-Christian you are,
3 You need a whole bunch of things just to get by from day to day.
4 fYou need a house, for one thing,
5 With all the basic amenities for surviving the seasons,
6 Like central heating,
7 And central air conditioning,
8 And blue shag carpeting that runs all the way from one wall to another,
9 And a garage to keep the white Monte Carlo in,
10 gUnless it's a white Cadillac instead,
11 Which you need to go to work every day,
12 hSo that you can keep making all those payments on the house,
13 iAnd the Monte Carlo,
14 And the 25-inch Sony color console set,
15 jWhich you need so that you can relax after a hard day's work,
16 And stop thinking about anything at all,
17 Until it's time to go to work again,
18 Tomorrow.
CHAPTER 131 I suggest to you that Harry understood all of this better than Christ ever did,
2 And probably better than kYahweh ever did either,
3 Since Yahweh was the kind of God that gives gods a bad name,
4 lWhat with trying to destroy the whole earth every time some little thing didn't go his way,
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