9 It is absolutely vital that you believe me on this point,
10 aFor the chain begins with Harry,
11 And the bWay of Harry is indispensable to your success,
12 Which there can be no doubt about,
13 For I Serve Harry,
14 And I have had the opportunity to learn the miraculous good fortune that comes to those who follow the Way of Harry,
15 And I have laid it all out for you in the plainest possible terms,
16 Which means that all you have to do is get busy with those letters,
17 And be very careful,
18 In fact, very very careful,
19 Not to break the cchain.
CHAPTER 371 Now I shall give you the list of names,
2 And do not worry if you do not recognize them,
3 For Your Letters Will Achieve Their Objective.
4 Here are the names:
5 The Ultra-Harrier Tom, Box 1234, Boston, MA;
6 The Ultra-Harrier Tony, Box 1234, San Francisco, CA;
7 The Ultra-Harrier Willie, Box 1234, Philadelphia, PA;
8 The Ultra-Harrier Joe, Box 1234, Atlanta, GA;
9 The Ultra-Harrier Sam, Box 1234, New York, NY;
10 The Ultra-Harrier Vinnie, Box 1234, Los Angeles, CA;
11 The Ultra-Harrier Jerry, Box 1234. Chicago, IL.
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12 It's that easy.
13 But remember NOT TO THINK about anything at all,
14 Ever!
CHAPTER P.S.1 Yes, that's right, dear Swarthmorons,
2 We do have a fascinating little postscript for you,
3 Which could change your life as you try to make your way up the dchain,
4 eBecause if you enclose another ten dollars with your letter,
5 We'll send you the enormously informative 'Intellectual Lifestyle Handbook,'
6 Which is just crammed with useful tips on how to impress all your most intellectual friends,
7 While protecting yourself from the fdangers of thinking at the same time!
8 Sound impossible?
9 gWell, that's because you haven't sent the ten dollars yet,
10 Which you really should do,
11 Because these are tips that aren't available to all Harriers,
12 hBut only to a select few,
13 Like yourselves.
14 For example, you'll learn which car is right for the committed intellectual who hates cars,
15 iIncluding even the very difficult choice between Volkswagens and Volvos.
16 You'll learn a few simple tips about how to dress for success in the intellectual community,
17 Such as Tip No. 1,
18 Which is to dress like a jKensingtonian and then just add a beard and a corduroy jacket for that little extra je ne sais quoi that makes all the difference.
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