23 aBy taking all their gold,
24 bAnd converting them to Christianity,
25 cBy killing most of them.
26 And there was yet another dconquistador who performed the same great service for the Mayans,
27 And so on,
28 Which is why so many enations in Central and South America are Christian and still speak Spanish today,
29 Except for the ones who speak Portuguese.
CHAPTER 121 Portugal had an Explorer named fMagellan,
2 gWho wanted to go around the world,
3 And so he did,
4 hBut he never really understood the part about going ashore in some new place,
5 iAnd taking everything you can find,
6 jAnd then naming the whole place after yourself,
7 Which maybe explains why he died en route round the world,
8 Without doing any of the really important colonial things.
9 Still, the Portuguese did manage to discover an eastern chunk of South America that didn't have any gold to speak of,
10 And therefore escaped the attention of the kSpanish conquistadors,
11 Which gave Portugal a surprisingly large amount of land to help themselves to,
12 Except that it was lBrazil,
13 And almost completely covered with jungle,
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14 And much too hot,
15 And full of insects and poisonous snakes,
16 Which discouraged Portugal so much that it gave up trying to make history altogether,
17 And never got to be a mChosen Nation.
CHAPTER 131 While all this great history was being made in the new world, the nDanish were still trying to figure out how to get started.
2 Eventually they decided that the best way to make history wasn't by discovering new worlds,
3 But by making pastry.
4 This turned out to be incorrect,
5 So Denmark stopped trying to make history,
6 And decided it would be better to forget about everything,
7 Except pastry,
8 Which they did,
9 And explains why Denmark lost its chance to be a Chosen Nation too.
CHAPTER 141 The Dutch started out much better than the Danish, ocleverly deciding that the best way to go east to pIndia was by sailing east to India.
2 When it turned out that India was right where they thought it was, they made some good money trading in spices.
3 Getting adventurous, they then sailed west with the idea of arriving at a destination in the westq,
4 Having decided that they'd found a solid approach to the discovery business.
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