9 Who were going to die soon,
10 And should be trying pretty hard to get into heaven,
11 Which is why the only diseases he would cure on the air were old people's diseases,
12 Like arthritis,
13 And high blood pressure,
14 And heart problems,
15 So that all the old people he had cured knew they would live a lot longer,
16 Which meant that it would probably be a long long time before their new wills would give Joe the money he needed to keep on with his holy work,
17 Which is why they were willing to trade their social security checks for Bibles printed in big type,
18 With Joe's picture on the cover,
19 Until the day of the scandal,
20 When Joe got arrested for extortion,
21 Because some rich old lady complained about his evangelical zeal,
22 And got a lot of sympathy in the press by going on talk shows with her right arm in a cast,
23 Even though it was only a severe sprain,
24 Which would have finished Joe off for good,
25 If it hadn't been for the movie aIra made about his career,
26 Which turned out to be such a big hit that Joe still had something left even after he paid off the old lady,
27 Enough, in fact, to buy a professional bbaseball team,
28 And so he did.
29 Joe had a terrific time running the baseball team for several years,
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30 cAnd even used to call his manager from the owner's box to change the lineup,
31 dUntil the day all the black and Hispanic players complained to the press about how racist Joe was,
32 And so Joe sold the baseball team and bought a ehockey team instead,
33 Which didn't have any black or Hispanic players,
34 fOr any Jews either,
35 And won the Stanley Cup,
36 Or made it to the finals, anyway.
CHAPTER 451 gIra stayed on with Harry for another year as hVice-President for Harrier Services,
2 iAnd made so much money that he became an instant success when he went to Hollywood,
3 And made millions and millions of dollars from his movies,
4 jWhich were all blockbusters about how sick and evil everything was,
5 kAnd how the Others keep getting it in the neck from everybody,
6 lUntil he had a flop that lost forty million dollars,
7 Because even the best editor in Hollywood couldn't piece the footage together to make a coherent story,
8 Which resulted in a bunch of wild allegations about drug abuse on the set,
9 And how the prop snow outside mInchon was really cocaine or something,
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