7 aAnd the nose gun,
8 bAnd the turret gun,
9 cAnd the tail gun,
10 dNot to mention the Norden bombsight,
11 eWhich will always come through in the end,
12 fAnd drop all the bombs right on target,
13 gWhile the rest of the crew is bringing down ME-109s left and right,
14 So that the extremely good-looking human beings on the plane can get home safely,
15 hWhich they will mostly do,
16 Although the German anti-aircraft guns and the fifty-caliber machine guns on the German fighter planes will put up a heroic resistance,
17 iAnd they will refuse to surrender,
18 So that the B-17 crews will have to keep firing and bombing,
19 For years and years,
20 Which must be where the comedy comes in.
CHAPTER 501 There will be another great comedy show called 'I Love the Untouchables,'
2 jWhich will be completely different from 'I love Combat!' and 'I Love Shooting Enemy Fighters at Twelve O'Clock,'
3 Because it will take place in a war zone called kChicago,
4 Which isn't even in Europe,
5 So you can see how different it will be right there.
6 The show will be all about competing gangs of machine guns whose sacred mission it is to make sure that lProhibition is as loud as possible,
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7 In every single precinct,
8 Which helps explain why the gangs are called "The Untouchables," because after they've fired off a few hundred rounds, they're way too hot to handle.
9 All of the starring roles will be played by members of the great mThomson family,
10 And they will be supported by some outstanding comedians in subsidiary roles,
11 Including nRobert Stock as Eliot Miss, the Treasury agent who has a nervous habit of shooting up liquor warehouses while shouting "Reload" in a hoarse monotone,
12 And oNeville Barrel as Al Caboom, the immigrant mastermind who has a nervous habit of shooting up pTreasury agents, restaurants with plate-glass windows, and innocent civilians,
13 So that the only common bond between Eliot and Al is their allegiance to the Thompson family,
14 Which is the only reason they manage to stay together week after week after week,
15 And thus explains why this show will be the first in a grand American comic tradition based on humorous qculture clashes,
16 Which I'll be telling you more about later,
17 Because it's so incredibly important.
CHAPTER 511 There will also be a vast number of comedies about guns owned by police officers and private investigators and secret agents,
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