31 aWhich is also why the president gets so depressed in 'Dr. Failsafe,'
32 bBecause the only way to avoid all-out nuclear war is to drop an H-Bomb on New York City,
33 cWhich is kind of a violent way of surviving,
34 And makes Henry Fonda put his head in his hands,
35 dEspecially when he hears the telephone melt in Moscow,
36 eEven though everybody else in the war room is whooping it up in a pretty hilarious way,
37 fAnd making plans to survive underground with a lot of beautiful women to reseed the planet,
38 gAs long as the women don't have to be played by Peter Sellers,
39 hWhich Stanley will probably agree to,
40 iProvided there's lots of Kraut music playing underground.
41 jAnd so they argue back and forth about this kind of stuff for quite a while,
42 kWhile Henry orders the bomb dropped on New York,
43 lAnd the B-52 takes off with a crazy cowboy pilot and an enormous H-Bomb,
44 mPlayed by Peter Sellers,
45 nWho is so eager to see the bomb go off that he rides it all the way down,
46 oWhile the credits roll up in front of the gigantic mushroom cloud that used to be New York,
47 pBecause even popular movies can be art,
48 As long as they don't have a happy ending,
49 Since art has to reflect humanity,
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50 Which isn't headed for a happy ending either.
CHAPTER 471 And as it happens, Hollywood will even dare to look beyond qnuclear nightmares,
2 Into the nightmare world that people might have to live in after the holocaust,
3 Which would obviously kill everyone who wasn't almost immortal,
4 Thus explaining why most of these movies will star rCharlton Heston,
5 Who will show us various impossible futures,
6 Like in a movie called s'Planet of the Killer Apes,'
7 tWhere the evil apes who survived the war walk upright and talk and wear clothes and everything,
8 Or maybe—though this is very very hard to make out—what Charlton finds in the future is a world so overpopulated that even uEdward G. Robinson can't push his way through the crowds,
9 And so he stays at home while Charlton goes out and pushes everybody around for him,
10 Trying to find one decent meal that isn't made of…
11 No, that can't be right…
12 Except that there isn't any food but…
13 No, that just couldn't possibly be it...
14 Until... and I can't be sure of this either, because it's so far out in the distant future of Hollywood...
15 Until Charlton is the very last man alive on earth,
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