46 Which has a really nasty acaptain,
47 bPlayed by Charles Laughton,
48 Who flogs everybody all the time,
49 Until there's a mutiny,
50 Starring cClark Gable,
51 Which keeps him so busy that he doesn't get around to seducing Scarlett until sometime after the end of the war,
52 dWhich happens when Raymond Massey says "malice toward none" and all that,
53 eAnd gets shot at Ford's Theater,
54 fCausing the north to get really nasty about Reconstruction,
55 gSo that Scarlett has to wear curtains,
56 hAnd Clark Gable has to marry her,
57 iBecause she doesn't have any money,
58 jAnd Clark has lots and lots of money from running the blockade in the Bounty,
59 kWhich Scarlett needs for clothes,
60 What with her being a Brit and all,
61 lUntil she has a little girl,
62 Played ever so charmingly by Shirley Temple,
63 Who has a terrible accident just like in 'Ryan O'Lyndon,'
64 Which ruins everything,
65 So that Clark doesn't give a damn any more,
66 Even if tomorrow is another day.
CHAPTER 231 There will be other great movies about America after the Civil War,
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2 Like with the wild west and all,
3 mIncluding fighting the Indians,
4 nAnd settling the wide open spaces,
5 And other great stuff like that,
6 Including a movie called 'They Died with Yellow Ribbons On,'
7 Which will be directed by John Ford,
8 And will show how it was to be a soldier in a fort out west,
9 With a bunch of U.S. Cavalry heroes and their pioneer friends,
10 Starring oJohn Wayne as the star of the show, of course,
11 And co-starring pHenry Fonda,
12 qVera Miles,
13 rWoody Strode,
14 sLee Marvin,
15 tWard Bond,
16 uAlan Hale,
17 And vNatalie Wood,
18 Not to mention wErrol Flynn,
19 xMaureen O'Hara,
20 yOlivia De Havilland,
21 And zWilliam Holden,
22 And with aaJeffrey Hunter in a particularly choice part.
23 It will be Henry Fonda who plays the colonel, of course,
24 While John Wayne plays the loyal sergeant who has seen it all,
25 Except for the part where bbGeneral Custer rides out and gets himself massacred at the Little Big Horn,
26 With his boots on,
27 ccWhich riles up the Indians so much that they raid all the pioneer settlements and steal Natalie Wood,
28 ddWho has to be rescued,
29 eeBut only after the big funeral scene in Monument Valley,
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