6 Not to mention flying horseless carriages,
7 And other miraculous things you can't even begin to imagine now.
8 aInstead of a mouthful of nasty-tasting baking soda, they will be able to brush their teeth with a substance that has no other purpose than the brushing of teeth,
9 Which will come in its own special tube,
10 And will have a carefully chosen name that means absolutely nothing, like Crust or Gloom or Coolgate or Pepsi-Dent or something like that.
11 Instead of a simple pair of pants, they will be able to buy a staggeringly huge assortment of trousers that actually have names of their own,
12 Like J.C. bWoolworth,
13 And cBook Brothers,
14 And dSad Sak Avenue,
15 And eL.L. Dollar,
16 And fLeviticus Strauss,
17 And too many others to count,
18 All of which will be completely different from each other,
19 Even if you have to put them on one leg at a time,
20 Just like everybody else.
CHAPTER 321 In fact, thanks to advertising, the Americans will make still another breakthrough discovery about Capitalism,
2 gWhich is that you don't really have to create new value to create wealth,
3 For yourself, anyway,
4 Because Capitalism works just as well for people who create the appearance of value,
|
|
5 hEven if there isn't any.
6 When this discovery has been proven in the marketplace,
7 By about five or ten thousand manufacturing corporations,
8 It will lead to the invention of many new industries that won't make anything of value at all,
9 But will sell services instead,
10 iAnd tell everybody how great their services are,
11 Until everybody believes it,
12 Just like a religion.
CHAPTER 331 And so it will come to pass that the American Capitalists will invent industries that nobody ever heard of before,
2 Called management consulting,
3 And public relations,
4 And life insurance,
5 Not to mention advertising,
6 Which won't make anything at all,
7 But they'll be very well paid for not making anything at all,
8 Just like banks.
CHAPTER 341 And since they've come up, it's important for you to know that banks will be an incredibly important part of Capitalist societies like America,
2 jBecause every Capitalist Nation will always need a whole bunch of boring avaricious people in blue suits to watch everybody's money,
3 kBecause the most important principle in every Capitalist Nation is the principle that nobody can be trusted,
4 Ever,
|