CHAPTER 291 And so, the labor movement in the Most Chosen Nation will make a huge contribution to the advancement of equality in Capitalist systems,
2 And it will be discovered that rich Capitalists can make money even if they pay their workers a living wage,
3 aWhich they will grumble about,
4 But less and less all the time,
5 Because they will be cheered up by another great American innovation,
6 Which will make up for all their generosity to the workers,
7 Ten times over,
8 Which is some consolation anyway.
CHAPTER 301 For it will also be the Americans who will discover the most important rule about being a Capitalist,
2 Namely, that it pays to advertise,
3 bWhich is based on the idea that the best way to convince everybody of how great you are is to tell everybody how great you are,
4 As often as possible,
5 In every way possible,
6 Until they believe it,
7 cJust like a religion.
8 The invention of advertising by Baron dSears-Roebuck will take your ideas into a whole new realm,
9 In which ecorporations will beget things,
10 Which will beget advertising,
11 Which will beget names and claims and memorable images and slogans,
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12 Which will beget an entire new industry devoted to packaging,
13 Which will beget an incredible number of additional completely useless new things,
14 Which will beget thousands of new communications mediums just so that everybody will have some place to advertise things,
15 Which will beget thousands of completely new industries to make still more new things to use the advertising space,
16 fWhich will eventually be so full of advertisements that nobody will be able to go anywhere or do anything without getting some free advice about what things to buy next.
CHAPTER 311 gIn this way, a day will come when common ordinary people will be able to judge each other by the things they use and own.
2 Instead of a horse and buggy, they will have their choice of hundreds of different horseless carriages,
3 Which will have names like Ford Biscayne and Chevrolet Bonneville and Pontiac Roadmonster and Buick Thunderbird and Cadillac New Yorker and Oldsmobile Fury and Chrysler Falcon and Dodge Catalina and Rambler Fury and Mercury Fleetwood and a bunch of others too,
4 Including even a two-wheeled horseless carriage,
5 hWhich will also be known as a Holy Davidson,
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