14 Which everybody can do anytime they want to,
15 As long as they don't cry out,
16 Or have any facial expression,
17 While they're disemboweling themselves according to the proper Nip ritual.
CHAPTER 71 aOf course, suicide wasn't the only great Nip ritual.
2 There was also the btea ceremony,
3 cWhich was so incredibly civilized that no barbarian could ever understand it,
4 dA barbarian being anyone who wasn't born in Japan,
5 Obviously.
CHAPTER 81 As civilized as they were, the Nips still had to go to war with each other every once in a while,
2 eA while being approximately equal to a month or so,
3 And therefore had a pretty big warrior class,
4 Who called themselves fsamurai,
5 And had more ways of killing people than you could shake a gpointed stick at.
6 For example, it was the samurai who thought up the great idea of having two swords instead of just one,
7 hSo that you could kill two people at a time instead of just one,
8 iBecause Japan was a pretty small island,
9 jAnd there were always too many Nips anyway,
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10 So it made sense to make wars as deadly as possible,
11 Which the Nips were very very good at.
CHAPTER 91 For example, there were some very special Nip assassins called kNinja,
2 Who could kill people with all kinds of weapons,
3 lIncluding swords,
4 And knives,
5 And bows and arrows,
6 And flying stars,
7 mAnd pointed sticks,
8 And a bunch of other things too,
9 nNot to mention their bare hands and feet,
10 oWhich they could break boards and bricks and necks and other things with,
11 Whenever they wanted,
12 Which was at least every once in a pwhile.
CHAPTER 101 The reason why there were so many wars in Japan was that the Nip civilization was kind of qfeudal,
2 For about two thousand years,
3 rWhich maybe aren't quite up yet,
4 sUnless they are,
5 tEven if it doesn't look that way,
6 To anybody but a Nip.
7 Anyway,
8 uThe Nip emperor depended on the help of a lot of Nip nobles,
9 vWho owned land,
10 wAnd peasants,
11 xAnd a whole bunch of samurai,
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