13 And all the brave frontier amarshals could put away their six-guns,
14 And breathe free,
15 Like all the other Yanks back home,
16 Except maybe for the negro Yanks,
17 bWho were about to lose all the privileges they'd enjoyed during Reconstruction.
CHAPTER 551 President Grant retired after his second term,
2 Which every U.S. president has done,
3 cExcept one,
4 And went home to think over his illustrious career,
5 Until he died.
6 That left it up to a new president to decide whether or not the south had been reconstructed enough yet,
7 Which it apparently had,
8 Because the new president told the south that they were on their own now,
9 And would have to make do without any more carpetbaggers,
10 Because it was time to turn over a new leaf,
11 And stop living in the past,
12 dAnd get on with things,
13 eWhich is the American Way.
14 And so the south plunged boldly forward into a fnew era,
15 gAnd rebuilt their plantations,
16 And hired a bunch of hex-slaves to pick cotton on them,
17 Because it had become kind of illegal for ex-slaves to do anything else,
18 Including vote,
19 Or hold public office,
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20 Or be a witness in court,
21 iOr use any public facilities of any kind,
22 Or own property,
23 jOr have a trial before being executed,
24 Or talk to white women without being executed,
25 Or look at white women without being executed,
26 Or strike a white man without being executed,
27 Or be uppity in any way without being executed,
28 kUnless they got lynched first.
29 Even so, things stayed pretty tough in the south,
30 And a lot of lsouthern gentlemen had to find new professions,
31 mBecause they didn't own any land or slaves anymore,
32 nWhich is why so many of them eventually decided to be drunken southern novelists and playwrights,
33 And write about how otragic it was to be an pimpoverished aristocrat in the desolate south.
CHAPTER 561 Overall, though, the south was the only part of the U.S. that was really desolate.
2 Out west, everything was going great,
3 What with mining of gold and silver,
4 And cattle ranching,
5 qAnd about a billion acres of grain fields,
6 And no more Indians getting in the way.
7 Up north, rcapitalism was thriving,
8 Because the Yanks had been paying pretty close attention when the sindustrial revolution got started in Britain,
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