23 Whatever it was.
24 But more important than this was the evidence that Indians were totally uncivilized,
25 aMeaning they had killed and scalped every member of a U.S. force that was obviously too small to pose any real threat,
26 Which just isn't civilized behavior,
27 Not to mention stupid,
28 Because if you're the wrong color or nationality, it's never a good idea to remind the Yanks that you are there,
29 Especially by killing some of them,
30 bBecause nobody knows more about getting even than the Yanks.
CHAPTER 531 And so the Yanks punished the Indians,
2 A lot.
3 cIt was obvious that any treaties the U.S. had signed with unchristian savages couldn't be honored after the terrible thing that had happened at the dLittle Big Horn,
4 And so they forgot about all the treaties,
5 And fought some eIndian wars,
6 Which were very exciting and suspenseful,
7 fBecause the two sides were so evenly matched.
8 On one side were the Yanks, a nation of forty million God-fearing Christians who had just fought and won the first gmodern war in history,
9 Against themselves,
10 hAnd who had right on their side because of Manifest Destiny,
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11 iAnd general principles,
12 Not to mention God,
13 jAnd how He feels about democracy and freedom and so forth.
14 On the other side were the Indians, a bunch of kheathen, savage stone age tribes who didn't even know about horses and guns till the Spaniards showed up,
15 lAnd who couldn't even make alliances between their own tribes,
16 Not to mention being in the wrong,
17 mBecause why on earth did they need all that land anyway?
CHAPTER 541 And so the Indian wars turned out to be a particularly glorious moment in Yank history,
2 Even though there have been lots and lots of glorious moments for the Yanks,
3 As any Yank will tell you.
4 Thanks to the heroism of the nU.S. Cavalry,
5 oWhich always arrived in the nick of time,
6 pThe Indians never got to first base,
7 And eventually had to give up,
8 qAnd stop robbing stagecoaches,
9 rAnd quit scalping white men,
10 sAnd swear off kidnaping defenseless pioneer babies to raise them as bloodthirsty savages,
11 tAnd all the rest of it too,
12 uUntil the wild west had been completely tamed,
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