5 aSince what really matters is being the swiftest,
6 bAnd the fittest,
7 cAnd getting up earlier than the other guy,
8 So that you can take his money while he's still asleep,
9 dAnd use it to buy stocks on a margin,
10 In the kinds of companies that can't help but succeed,
11 eWhich you can always identify because their stock prices keep going up,
12 Which is why everybody else is buying their stock on margin too,
13 And so it's a good idea to buy yours earlier than the other guy,
14 So that you'll make higher profits,
15 fAnd more money.
CHAPTER 391 Actually (said the pen),
2 I have some not very good news for you,
3 Because when I told you the bad news about your ideas before,
4 I overlooked some,
5 Which I have been suddenly reminded of,
6 gBecause Capitalism will also lead to something really awful that people will blame on you,
7 Something called the hGreat Depression,
8 iWhich will start on Wall Street,
9 With a tremendous noise,
10 jWhich will sound like a single gigantic crash,
11 Even though it will actually consist of thousands and thousands of little crashes,
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12 kMade by thousands and thousands of phones slipping from terror-stricken fingers,
13 All over America,
14 Simultaneously,
15 lBecause the call they all got,
16 Simultaneously,
17 mWas a margin call.
CHAPTER 401 During the Great Depression, it will become obvious to everyone that Capitalism doesn't work,
2 nBecause millions of people will be out of work,
3 oAnd even worse than that, it will be discovered that there isn't any money at all in the Most Chosen Nation,
4 pExcept for the money that the very richest of the fat-cat Capitalists still have squirreled away, of course,
5 Because all the money everybody else had before the Great Depression was borrowed from somebody else,
6 Who had also borrowed it from somebody else,
7 And so forth,
8 And so on,
9 So that there's only one thing left to do,
10 Namely, have the government step in,
11 And print up a whole bunch of money,
12 And start giving it away,
13 qWhich doesn't have much to do with Capitalism exactly,
14 rBut has a great deal to do with putting some food on the table,
15 sFor all the millions and millions of people who aren't fit enough to survive on their own.
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