23 aBy means of blackjacks and chains,
24 Which explains why the Brit navy got so big and powerful,
25 bAnd stayed that way through thick and thin,
26 Even though Britain was actually a pretty small country.
CHAPTER 211 In fact, the Brit navy was the greatest single accomplishment of Brit culture,
2 cConsisting of an officer corps from the upper class,
3 dAnd an enlisted corps from the lower class,
4 All of whom were bound to do their duty,
5 eWithout thinking about it,
6 fEven if it killed them,
7 Which it usually did.
8 In return for their service, the Brits who served in the navy got some lime juice every day,
9 And a ration of grog,
10 Meaning rum-flavored swill,
11 gAnd the chance to fight sea battles against great odds,
12 hIn places so far from home that they could spend their whole naval career on one voyage there and back,
13 If they got back,
14 Which wasn't easy,
15 Naturally,
16 Since they were Brits and therefore had to do everything the hard way,
17 iSuch as with floggings,
18 jAnd summary executions at sea,
19 Often for no reason,
20 Except that the kCaptain said so,
21 And rotten bread infested with worms,
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22 lAnd other Brit navy traditions along much the same lines.
23 The Brit officers had it better, though,
24 Since they got to wear nice uniforms,
25 Which made it all okay,
26 For some reason.
CHAPTER 221 Of course, the navy wasn't the only Brit military organization that had such a fine tradition.
2 The Brit army was almost as dutiful and honorable and traditional as the navy,
3 And had very nice uniforms too,
4 With bright red coats so that the enemy could see them coming,
5 Since it wouldn't have been fair to hide,
6 Because hiding is too easy,
7 And therefore not British.
8 mThe Brit army officers were gentlemen, of course,
9 And got to wear nice regimental neckties when they were home,
10 Which made up for the fact that they always had to lead the attack,
11 Against superior numbers of enemy troops,
12 nAs required by tradition,
13 While wearing special officers' uniforms, which,
14 Though nice,
15 Made great otargets for enemy sharpshooters.
16 The Brit enlisted soldiers were commoners, of course,
17 pAnd had to do their duty too,
18 qWhich consisted of always marching in neat rows,
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