13 aBecause there's no such thing as a frivolous lawsuit,
14 When there's money on the line.
CHAPTER 31 Or maybe I should say, Get him off!
2 Get him off no matter what,
3 No matter what he did,
4 Because even though you all talk about your "profession,"
5 And absolutely demand due respect for your intelligence and learning and integrity,
6 Your job has nothing to do with justice,
7 Because you're not responsible,
8 And you're just a bhired gun,
9 Who happens to be csmarter than everyone else in the whole world,
10 dWhich is its own reward,
11 And explains why you never have to think about anyone but yourself,
12 Ever,
13 For even a single instant,
14 And never mind what the law was originally meant to do,
15 Or be,
16 Or provide,
17 Because if they can't pay, then they don't deserve you,
18 And if they can pay,
19 eThen it's automatically your job to forget about justice and guilt and the intent of the law,
20 And spring the fthieving banker,
21 And the glying senator,
22 And the hmutilating rapist,
23 And the isodomizing child molester,
24 Because hey!
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25 jYou didn't make the world,
26 You're just a lawyer,
27 In a two-thousand-dollar tailor-made suit,
28 And by the way, all you other Harriers out there,
29 When you're talking to an attorney,
30 Mind you don't say something actionable,
31 kBecause he'll take you for every penny you'll ever earn.
CHAPTER 41 So what can Mike say to a lawyer?
2 We're all Harriers, of course,
3 lAnd Harry made it pretty clear that we don't have to like each other,
4 Or help each other,
5 mEspecially if it's convenient to blame each other,
6 nBecause we should all be just the way we are,
7 oAnd I am Mike,
8 And I just hate lawyers,
9 pWhich is perfectly okay by Harry,
10 Who would be proud of me.
CHAPTER 51 And probably Harry would say to me,
2 "Don't bust a gut, Mike.
3 "Don't try to be different from the way you are,
4 "Because remember,
5 q"There are no contradictions."
6 And so usually, I don't think about anything at all,
7 Because life is so much easier that way,
8 rExcept that I really hate lawyers,
9 And I want you to know how much,
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