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11  
12 That's exactly right.
13 Harry would be proud of you all.


VICE-PRESIDENT WAYNE'S FORMULAS FOR THE
DREXELITES

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CHAPTER 1
1 It's great to see all you anumbers jocks,
2 Because it isn't often that bI get to enjoy the heavy-duty quantitative stuff with a bunch of engineers, scientists, computer jocks, and accounting types,
3 And I'm having a real hard time here suppressing my ecstasy.
4 In fact, if I had a really awful corny joke to start with,
5 I would tell it to you now,
6 Except that I left it in my other plastic penholder,
7 In my other shirt pocket,
8 Which is really kind of too bad,
9 I guess.
10 Anyway,
11 We'll be going over some important material today,
12 Material about the cWay of Harry,
13 Which you might prefer to think of as a series of dsimple formulas for living,
14 Without having to engage in any eratiocination,
15 At all.
16 Sound intriguing?
17 Good.
18 Then let's synchronize our digital watches and get started.
a.Dav.29.6
b.Ext.50.15-17
c.Wht.6
d.Wil.31.14
e.Jefs.11.19
f.Chuk.20.1-23
CHAPTER 2
1 Let h stand for the summation of all discrete events in the entire course of human history,
2 And let p stand for progress,
3 Where p is a function of h,
4 Such that p = f(h).
5 Now,
6 Can anybody calculate for me the value of p?
7 Of course, the brighter ones will already have figured it out,
8 Because it's really quite simple:
9 fp = 0.

CHAPTER 3
1 Notice that we can also approach this problem from quite another direction, as follows:
2 Let h stand for our net quantifiable hopes for the future,
3 Where:

4 Given that y stands for the net increase in quantifiable hope produced in one year of recorded human history.
5 If you'll all calculate this out pretty quickly,
6 I think you'll find that we get a quite suggestive answer, namely: