12 aAnd Bulimia,
13 bAnd Male Menopause,
14 cNot to mention Processed Sugar and so forth,
15 dWhich is why names are so important,
16 Because when something has a name of its own,
17 eIt obviously exists,
18 Which means that your patients can catch it,
19 fAnd buy some drugs to treat it.
20 The only problem with all this is that there are now so many thousands of different ailments to contract that physicians can start to believe that they have them too,
21 Especially gincome-oriented physicians,
22 No matter how silly that sounds,
23 hBecause let's face it, the average income-oriented physician tends to lose touch with medical science over time,
24 Until he's frequently guessing right along with his patients,
25 And inclined to believe in diseases that were never meant for him.
26 This can lead to the truly debilitating condition called iparanoius digesticus,
27 In which the sufferer begins to think that he is in constant grave danger from a virtually endless array of medical abnormalities,
28 Until life is nothing more than a series of dread-filled intervals between checkups,
29 And the human body is nothing more than a chronic jdisease-making machine,
30 kWaiting for the one final medical disaster that will strike randomly from out of nowhere,
|
|
31 lAnd put an end to everything.
32 That's why it's so very fortunate that mincome-oriented physicians can rely on the Way of Harry,
33 Which teaches us not to think about anything at all,
34 And simplifies everything enormously.
35 For if you follow the Way of Harry,
36 nMedicine is just a business,
37 And diseases are just a product you sell to your customers,
38 oWhether or not you'd ever buy or use the product yourself,
39 Just like all good businessmen everywhere.
40 And the more product you sell your customers,
41 The more afraid they'll be,
42 And the more they'll need you,
43 And your expensive office time,
44 And your expensive lab tests,
45 And your expensive prescription drugs.
46 See how beautifully it all works out!
47 And if you ever feel the first creeping pangs of pparanoius digesticus invading your life,
48 In spite of all your best efforts to think about nothing at all,
49 There is always qHarry's Consolation,
50 Which we'll be explaining more about,
51 As we go.
CHAPTER 81 rspecialitas tediositas.
|