2 Instead, he turned out to be this great investigative reporter,
3 And broke a whole bunch of stories about amazing scandals in high places,
4 Starting with some big scandal in the military,
5 Which Mort's afather had been a career officer in,
6 bExplaining why Mort and his dad had never gotten along at all,
7 Which turned out to be all the incentive he needed to break a really big story,
8 cAbout corruption in the administration of weapons contracts,
9 And no one was more upset than Mort when his own father got dishonorably discharged,
10 And barely escaped a stiff prison sentence.
11 From there, Mort went on to break lots of big scandals,
12 dIncluding the scandal that almost ruined Sam's life,
13 eAnd the scandal that almost ruined Vinnie's life,
14 fAnd the scandal that almost ruined Ira's life,
15 gAnd the scandal that almost ruined Jerry's life,
16 hAnd the scandal that almost ruined Joe's life,
17 iNot to mention the scandal that almost ruined Ned's life,
18 Although Mort didn't have anything to do with the jscandal that almost ruined Tony's life,
19 Because who cares about some perverted college professor,
20 Who isn't even famous?
21 kOf course, Mort was much in demand to speak to clubs and fraternal organizations about ethics in journalism and other high places,
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22 And his book made several million dollars,
23 And nobody ever found out that he was a Harrierl,
24 Because everybody thought he was like some mfriendly uncle,
25 And slightly above it all,
26 Which is why he would never stoop to anything sleazy or unscrupulous,
27 Or anything like that.
CHAPTER 481 Then there was nFred,
2 Who didn't have such a great career,
3 oBecause apparently he received a little too much Consolation during his year of service to Harry,
4 Which he promised to work off by being the pArch-Harrier for the mid-Atlantic region,
5 Although that didn't work out,
6 And Ned had to demote him to qParish Beacon a few weeks later,
7 Because rIra thought it might tarnish the image of the Pontifical Harrier Parish if one of the original sUltra-Harriers got exconsolated,
8 Which is when tVicki took Fred in hand,
9 What with him being almost completely helpless and emasculated by now,
10 uWhich maybe explains why she kind of fell for him a little bit,
11 And talked me, Willie, into giving him another chance,
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