2 Called "talk shows,"
3 Which will be completely different from your show because they will all feature a good-looking and witty host,
4 Who will actually talk to his guests before they perform,
5 So that the people in the TV audience can get to know the stars they have always had to admire from afar.
6 In fact, there will one day be TV stars who are famous and admired for being on so many talk shows,
7 And who will never actually perform at all,
8 Which will give still more TV producers another completely new idea,
9 Namely, putting on talk shows where the guests are not performers of any kind,
10 But real people,
11 aJust like the ones everybody lives next to in the suburbs,
12 bExcept that they will have all kinds of problems,
13 cAnd tell everybody in the TV audience about them,
14 Which is why they won't use a prerecorded laugh track of any kind,
15 Because everyone will know exactly when to laugh,
16 At first.
CHAPTER 701 And talk shows aren't the only thing that will get their start on your variety show,
2 Because when you're on every single week, you naturally get to discover new trends in entertainment,
3 Which you will do,
4 dIncluding something called rocking roll music,
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5 Which will burst onto the small screen because of your insight about where things are going,
6 And there will be titanic rocking roll stars created on your show,
7 With names like eElvis Crosley,
8 And Frankie fCamelot,
9 And gPat Boom,
10 And hChoke Bury,
11 and the iTintinnabulations,
12 And the jSirenes,
13 Not to mention the very biggest rocking roll stars of all,
14 kWho will come to the Most Chosen Nation all the way from the Former Most Chosen Nation,
15 lTo show young people in the Most Chosen Nation how to do rocking roll music right,
16 mNamely, by having a lot less black people involved,
17 nAnd wearing funny haircuts,
18 oInstead of gold lamé,
19 And so it will be your privilege to introduce a lot of foreign rocking roll stars to a pGreat New Generation of young people,
20 qIncluding the Bottles,
21 rAnd Armand's Armpits,
22 sAnd Rolling Rocks too,
23 tWho will finally bring raw sexual energy out of the closet into the mainstream of life in the Most Chosen Nation on Earth,
24 After which nothing will ever be the same again,
25 Would you like to hear about it?
CHAPTER 711 "As a matter of fact," Ed replied, "I'm feeling kind of tired and worn out right now,
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