9 Sheriffs,
10 aMarshals,
11 Pony Express riders,
12 And stagecoach drivers,
13 Not to mention the U.S. Cavalry and the Indians,
14 And a bunch of other stuff too.
15 All of these movies will star John Wayne,
16 Who will always win,
17 And kill all the bad guys,
18 bUntil he dies at the Alamo,
19 Which will give some other stars a chance to do westerns,
20 Including stars like Gary Cooper and cAlan Ladd and Jimmy Stewart,
21 Who will always make movies in which they have to face the evil gunmen all alone,
22 Which they will do,
23 Because if they ever don't know what to do, they can always look at a John Wayne movie and find out,
24 Which explains why Shane will kill dJack Palance,
25 And why eGary Cooper will kill all the bad guys except for the one fGrace Kelly has to kill,
26 And gJimmy Stewart will reluctantly strap on his gun and walk out into the street with no hope of winning,
27 Except that somehow he will always survive,
28 hAnd show the bad guys what it means to have real character,
29 Which is also why he will always get to marry Vera Miles in the end,
30 Unless it's really iJune Allyson instead.
CHAPTER 251 jEventually, Hollywood will even get around to making movies about America that don't take place in the wild west,
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2 Which just shows how great and creative the motion picture business will become,
3 kBecause when everything else in America falls apart during the Great Depression,
4 The movies will find all kinds of exciting ways to distract and entertain the public,
5 And even educate them about important things in life,
6 lWithout forcing them to read a lot of dull books.
CHAPTER 261 For example, there will be a great movie director named Frank,
2 Who will show everybody that life is really okay,
3 mEven if you're having a Great Depression,
4 Which he will do in a movie called 'John Doe's Wonderful Life in Washington,'
5 Starring nJimmy Stewart,
6 Who will play a typical small-town saint,
7 Just like you'll find in every small town all over America,
8 oWho runs a small savings and loan business,
9 And is planning to marry pDonna Reed,
10 Until his quncle loses all the money,
11 rAnd everything falls apart,
12 sWhich convinces Jimmy that he should jump off the ttallest building in New York,
13 Except that he doesn't know that uBarbara Stanwyck set the whole thing up,
14 In collusion with the evil banker,
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