CHAPTER 91 And things went on for quite a while this way,
2 Without much history going on,
3 And life was good,
4 Which is to say easy,
5 Unless you happened to be a slave,
6 Or a plebeian,
7 aOr not a Roman.
CHAPTER 101 bBut history has a way of happening all by itself,
2 cWhether you do anything yourself or not,
3 And so it happened that democracy didn't work outd,
4 eWhich shouldn't be too surprising,
5 fSince we all know what happened to the Greeks.
6 But the Romans didn't worry too much about democracy, in spite of what happened to the Greeks.
7 gAfter all, the Romans knew that they were the Chosen Tribe,
8 And much more Chosen than the Greeks had ever been,
9 Because all the Roman Gods and Goddesses said so,
10 And they should know,
11 hBeing pretty much the same Gods and Goddesses the Greeks believed in,
12 Except for the Roman God named iJanus, who had two faces and was completely unknown to the Greeks,
13 For some reason,
14 Although nobody should be surprised to discover that the Greeks didn't know everything,
15 Because how else could they have gotten the names of their own Gods so wrong,
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16 What with jZeus really being kJupiter,
17 And lHades really being mPluto,
18 And nPoseidon really being oNeptune,
19 And pAries really being qMars,
20 And rAphrodite really being sVenus,
21 And tHera really being uJuno,
22 And vArtemis really being wDiana,
23 And xApollo really being Apollo,
24 Which just goes to show you,
25 The Greeks weren't wrong about everything.
CHAPTER 111 For example, the Greeks weren't wrong about how the yChosen Tribe needs to rule the whole world,
2 Which is why there was zJulius Caesar,
3 Who was a consul for a while,
4 aaAnd kept his eye on the other consul.
5 This was good practice for the triumvirate,
6 Which means rule by three apes,
7 And kept Julius pretty busy keeping his eye on Sulla and bbPompey,
8 Until Pompey's head ccaccidentally wound up on a pointed stick,
9 ddAnd something else happened to Sulla,
10 And Julius Caesar crossed the eeRubicon,
11 ffFor some reason,
12 And became dictator of Rome,
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