2 aThey say that I look at you like a God: They despise me as if I were a heretic, and tell me that bI should ask forgiveness from Jesus Christ, whose mercy extends to all men except those who have lots of money.
3 But it is easy to care nothing for money when you are the son of God: Then you do not cneed to work for a living, and no one ever sends you a bill.
4 In fact, people give you money every Sunday, heaping plates full of bills and coins and checks; they build houses for you everywhere, and dnice houses at that, with lots of brass and velvet and stained-glass windows that cost more than an average person makes in a year.
5 Who on earth is richer than Jesus Christ? And what ehypocrisy is it that makes Him tell poor people to be glad about their poverty?
6 fWe have heard a lot of talk about the sayings of the savior: Has he not said, Do unto others as you would have them do unto you?
7 gSo I ask you, what would happen if I asked the church to give me money every Sunday, and a great big house full of stained-glass windows: Would they give me what I ask, in the name of the Christ and his golden rule?
8 hNo, I will remain true to the power of money, which offers more forgiveness to people like me than any religion: Which God has not showered more blessings on the rich than the poor, iand which God has never worn the robes of hypocrisy when money is on the table?
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9 jO Money, you alone are honest about the things that count: kOf the things that can be counted which count for something, coins have the most value in a world of deceitful men.
CHAPTER 111 O Money, I tell you that I am hard pressed: Why do you not come to me, and give me some kind of cushion to rest upon?
2 Have I not proved my devotion? Do I fail to mention your name to everyone I meet?
3 Have I not spent most of my waking hours thinking about ways of being closer to you? lAnd when I sleep, do I not dream about your bright golden face?
4 And yet, you turn away from me, and do not answer my requests: The mlandlord beats on my door constantly, and I cannot pay him with my devotion to your name.
5 nHonestly, I could make do with a quick five hundred; for this small amount I would be more grateful than a tycoon who has made a killing in corn.
6 I would not even wince at the sight of rich men giving big otips in restaurants; pI would not eavesdrop at the stock exchange hoping for easy money, qnor would I bet on a long shot at the track.
7 rI will never cease to be loyal and faithful to you, O Money: It will never occur to me to ask where are you when I need you.
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