7 Until one day, Mao was in charge of everything,
8 aWhich is to say, the Chink masses were in charge of everything,
9 Doing the greatest number of things possible to the greatest number of needy people,
10 bOr something like that.
CHAPTER 151 With the help of Mao, the Chink masses made a lot of reforms.
2 cFor starters, they repaired the wall,
3 And stopped talking to absolutely everybody.
4 Then they decided to dkill all the Chink intellectuals and edestroy all traces of the old bad Chink way of doing things.
5 fFor example, under the old bad Chink way, it was the parents who decided who could marry who,
6 Whereas under the new communist Chink way, it was the gstate who decided who could marry who,
7 Which was much better,
8 hFor some reason.
9 iUnder the old bad Chink way, people respected and worshiped their ancestors,
10 And maybe jConfucius and Buddha and the emperor and some other wise people too.
11 Under the great new Chink way, people respected and worshiped the emperor kMao,
12 Who wasn't actually the emperor,
13 But completely different,
14 lBecause he had a lot more power.
15 Anyway, people weren't allowed to worship their ancestors anymore,
|
|
16 Because it was obviously their ancestors who had let the foreign barbarians in in the first place,
17 And what's more, none of their ancestors had been Marxists,
18 mWhich proves that they can't have been so wise after all.
CHAPTER 161 The new emperor also helped the Chinks to become a thoroughly modern nation for the first time.
2 For example, in ancient China, people had to travel in two-wheeled vehicles called rickshaws, which needed human muscle to pull them.
3 nIn the new modern China, people got access to much more advanced transportation technology,
4 Like two-wheeled vehicles called bicycles, owhich had pulleys and chains to push them along, with a little help from human muscle.
5 And that wasn't all of the modern wonders that Mao introduced to China.
6 For example, the new China got to play pping-pong,
7 Instead of mah-jongg,
8 Which represents tremendous progress,
9 qAnd more than makes up for the several millions of Chinks who had to be executed so that the bad old ways could be laid to rest forever.
CHAPTER 171 Besides bicycles and ping-pong, the Chink masses also got to have a lot of rchildren,
|