CHAPTER 961 Now that there was a Great Depression,
2 The Yanks suddenly got interested in politics again,
3 And discovered that there was someone in the White House called aHubert Heever,
4 Or something like that,
5 Who nobody could remember how he got there,
6 bExcept that everything must be his fault,
7 And he should be sent home.
8 So they elected a brand-new president,
9 Called cFranklin Delano Roosevelt,
10 Who was honest and great,
11 Even though he wasn't born in a log cabin,
12 And talked with a snooty accent,
13 Which he got from Harvard or someplace like that,
14 And even wore pince-nez and a cigarette holder,
15 For some reason.
CHAPTER 971 But Roosevelt was really great anyway,
2 dBecause he offered the Yanks a new deal,
3 Based on the idea that what democracy was all about was equality,
4 eAnd how nobody was really any better than anybody else,
5 Which meant that it was up to the government to kind of even things out,
6 fAnd take money away from the people who had too much of it,
7 gAnd give it to the people who didn't have enough of it,
8 Because that was only fair,
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9 hAnd besides, there was a tremendous majority of Yanks who didn't have enough money,
10 iAnd really liked the idea of getting even with the ones who did,
11 jWhich is the American Way,
12 kSince Yanks weren't allowed to go off and start their own country anytime they felt like it,
13 Anymore.
CHAPTER 981 lAnd so Roosevelt saved the capitalist system in America,
2 mBy forming a giant coalition of all the Yanks who had been oppressed in the past,
3 nIncluding all the European immigrants,
4 oAnd all the black people who were allowed to vote,
5 pAnd all the poor white trash who had always had to take dirty, dangerous jobs for almost no pay,
6 And a bunch of others too,
7 So that the greatest goods could be taken from the richest numbers,
8 qOr something like that,
9 And everything would be fair from now on,
10 rIncluding government jobs for some of the people who didn't have any,
11 sAnd relief for the ones who still didn't have jobs after that,
12 tAnd higher taxes for the rich capitalists who had destroyed the economy in the first place,
13 uAnd labor unions for all the people who had to work for rich capitalists,
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