40 Including maybe Charleston,
41 Unless it was someplace else.
CHAPTER 451 By this time, General aRobert E. Lee was pretty unhappy.
2 bPickett was dead,
3 cAnd so was Stonewall Jackson,
4 Which meant that the Yanks now had more famous generals than the south did,
5 dWhat with Grant and his big thinking bouts,
6 eSherman and his hellfire,
7 And a bunch of other Yanks just like Grant and Sherman.
8 Besides, Lee's hair had turned completely fgray,
9 And since the average age of his soldiers was now about fourteen,
10 He was starting to feel more like a grandfather than a general,
11 And so he decided that it might be better to surrender so the troops could get to bed in time to be fresh for school,
12 Which he did,
13 gIn a place called Appomattox,
14 hUnless that isn't where it was.
15 Anyway, Lee handed his sword to Grant,
16 And rode off into the sunset,
17 And was never heard from again.
18 As the victorious general, though,
19 Grant had to keep working,
20 iAnd thinking,
21 Sometimes as many as two or three cases a week,
22 Because he was going to be heard from again,
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23 And had to be ready when the time came.
CHAPTER 461 As it happens, there's a funny thing about history,
2 Which is that when a lot of it is going on,
3 It's kind of hard to stop it,
4 jOr even slow it down,
5 Just because everybody would like some peace and quiet,
6 And a little breathing room.
7 Immediately after the Civil War,
8 Almost everybody was relieved that it was over at last,
9 And Lincoln said some nice things in his second inaugural address,
10 kThings about malice toward none,
11 lAnd how a divided house can't stand the heat in the kitchen,
12 mOr words to that effect,
13 nWhich eventually might have gotten everybody calmed down a little bit,
14 oSo they could think what to do next,
15 Only Lincoln went to see a pplay at Ford's Theater instead,
16 Where an assassin named qJohn Wilkes Booth assassinated him,
17 And took away the greatest president the northeastern states of the U.S. ever had.
CHAPTER 471 To this day, every Yank born north of the rMason-Dixon line remembers that sAbraham Lincoln was a great president,
2 Because he won the Civil War,
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