|17 Working for such long hours made the commoners hungry,
18 Which was a problem,
19 aBecause it was the French who had invented food,
20 bAnd wouldn't give the Brits any,
21 Thus explaining why there wasn't any food in Great Britain,
22 And still isn't.
24 When the commoners got hungry, the Brits responded with another one of their clever inventions,
25 cNamely gin,
26 Which didn't exactly eliminate hunger,
27 dBut made the commoners forget they were hungry,
28 And tired,
29 And cold,
30 eAnd sick from breathing coal smoke twenty or thirty hours a day.
31 fThanks to this invention, the Brits soon became the richest industrial nation on earth,
32 gAnd sold proper Brit clothes to everyone the world over,
33 Including millions of wogs,
34 Meaning "non-white natives so ignorant they don't know enough to wear spats,"
35 hWho were often unaware that they needed new clothes until the Brit military gave them fashion lessons,
36 Which usually involved staying after school,
37 Under British rule,
CHAPTER 291 By now, in fact, the Brits had a considerable amount of culture,
2 Not all of which was stolen from the many nations they had conquered and jcivilized.
||3 For example, in the course of their thousand-year history, the Brits had produced well over half a dozen artists,
4 Including kTurner,
5 And probably some others too.
6 During the same time period, they had also produced a composer,
7 Whose name was lPurcell,
8 And who was pretty okay, even if he wasn't mMozart,
9 But then comparatively few people are.
10 And there was quite a lot of architecture in Britain as well,
11 nIncluding incredibly huge castles and stately old homes,
12 oWhich weren't any uglier than the huge castles and stately old homes that had been built by thieves and pirates the world over, since time immemorial,
13 pSince you've got to spend all that loot on something.
14 And besides, some of the architecture in London was really beautiful and impressive,
15 If you could only see it through the fog,
16 qWhich wasn't the Brits' fault,
17 rUnless you count coal smoke.
CHAPTER 301 And art and music and architecture weren't the only Brit cultural accomplishments.
2 For example, there was literature,
3 Which they couldn't seem to get enough of,
4 No matter how much they had already,