20 Including honor and tradition and fair play and so forth,
21 aEven if they all had to be slaughtered to the last man, woman, and child in order to learn it properly,
22 bSo that eventually there came a day when the sun never set on the British Empire,
23 And no matter where you went in the world,
24 cYou could hear people talking at great length about their views on Brit honor and tradition,
25 And fair play,
26 Not to mention Brit uniforms.
CHAPTER 271 dBut the Brits also had a great sense of humor,
2 Meaning that they never took the criticisms of foreigners too seriously,
3 eBecause you had to consider the source,
4 fAnd if the peoples who carped about the Brits were so great, then how come the Brits owned all their territory,
5 gAnd all their money,
6 hAnd almost everyone else's too?
7 In fact, the Brits were so confident about things in general that they felt lighthearted enough to crown a iqueen as their monarch,
8 Whose name was jVictoria,
9 And who lived for an entire age,
10 kNamed after herself.
11 Of course, by this time, the Brits had done enough lKing-Baiting over the years to ensure that mParliament got to make most of the real decisions,
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12 nAnd they had also invented a tradition of allowing commoners to vote and serve in Parliament,
13 Which was called democracy,
14 Meaning rule by Lords who have resigned their titles to pose as commoners,
15 oWhich led to prime ministers,
16 Whose job it was to say clever things,
17 pAnd rule the world.
CHAPTER 281 One big advantage the Brits had in ruling the world was that they had made up lots and lots of science,
2 Which they had a knack for,
3 qBecause nothing makes life harder for everyone like advanced technology.
4 For example, the Brits figured out that the climate in Great Britain,
5 rWhile bad,
6 Wasn't bad enough,
7 sWhich convinced them to start an industrial revolution,
8 tBy inventing capitalism,
9 uAnd steam engines,
10 vAnd lots of powerful machinery driven by steam engines,
11 wAnd factories to put the machinery in,
12 So that the whole country could be filled with coal smoke,
13 xWith the help of the commoners,
14 yWhose job it was to burn coal in factories twenty or thirty hours a day,
15 zIncluding children,
16 aaFor pennies.
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