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24 Which is to say, young British gentlemen,
25 aSince the female children of Lords weren't allowed to do anything,
26 Except be queen and monarch of the country occasionally,
27 Went to the public school their father had gone to,
28 bWhich was Eton,
29 Unless it was Harrow,
30 And from there to the university their father had gone to,
31 Which was Oxford,
32 Unless it was Cambridge,
33 And after that, they had to choose a career.
34 cFor example, firstborn sons had to choose inheriting their father's title,
35 dAnd second-born sons had to choose a career in the military,
36 eAnd third-born sons had to choose a career in the Church of England,
37 And so on,
38 Which helps explain why the Brits invented concepts like duty, honor, and tradition,
39 Since duty means doing what your superiors tell you to,
40 Without thinking about it,
41 And honor means doing what your father would have told you to do fif you'd ever had the chance to meet him,
42 Without thinking about it,
43 gAnd tradition means doing what your father already did,
44 And his father,
45 And his father too,
46 And so on,
47 Without thinking about it,
48 Which the Lords have always been very good at.
1 The other class of Brits, which is to say the commoners, did not receive a gentleman's education,
2 And therefore did not attend Eton and Oxford,
3 Or even Harrow and Cambridge,
4 And didn't have to have honor,
5 hSince they usually got to meet their fathers,
6 Unless they were bastards,
7 Which aren't expected to have honor anyway.
8 But being Brits, even the commoners were bound by duty and tradition,
9 iWhich meant that they always had to do what their superiors told them to,
10 Without thinking about it,
11 jAnd also had to do what their fathers already did,
12 And their fathers,
13 And their fathers too,
14 And so on,
15 Without thinking about it,
16 Without any exceptions,
17 But one.
18 The exception was that a commoner could always choose a career in the Brit navy,
19 Even if his father had never had a career in the Brit navy,
20 Which he could do by hanging out in the right tavern,
21 kMeaning the kind of tavern that might be visited by impressment gangs,
22 Who recruited commoners into the navy for twelve years or so,