|11 The Brits also played the Protestant aReformation game better than anyone else,
12 Having recognized well ahead of time that a bpowerful, unified church represented a serious inconvenience to any nation that intended to rule the worldc,
13 Which helps explain why dKing Henry the Eighth decided to become head of the Church of England, presumably so that he could grant himself a divorce, when it would have been much simpler to have had his wife beheaded,
14 The way he usually did.
CHAPTER 111 The Church of England was a great success,
2 And very popular with the overwhelming majority of eHenry's subjects,
3 Because it eliminated some problems the Brits had always had with the concept of fdivinity,
4 Since they'd always had the suspicion that Jesus Christ probably wasn't very well bred,
5 gOr why would he have dressed like that,
6 Although they had enormous respect for the fact that he hadn't picked the easy way,
7 hWhich would have been to work a miracle on the cross and not die at all.
8 The Church of England neatly resolved this dilemma by enabling the Brits to deal with God on a iman-to-jman basis,
9 In enormous cathedrals,
10 kWhile properly attired,
11 Without a lot of stuff and nonsense about divinity and theology.
||CHAPTER 121 Of course, the utter propriety of the Church of England did nothing to prevent a lot of lbloody religious conflicts,
2 mSince the Brits still believed in the divine right of kings,
3 Which meant that religious differences represented a great new excuse for claiming the throne,
4 And started a whole new English nsport,
5 Called the oCatholic Pretenders Game,
6 Which was extremely popular for quite a while after Henry the Eighth died.
7 In fact, it was pElizabeth I's skill at this sport that finally enabled her to assume the throne of England and start the Brit quest for world dominion in earnest.
CHAPTER 131 Elizabeth turned out to be one of the greatest Brit monarchs in history.
2 qHer attire was always impeccable, consisting of thick layers of makeup, ridiculous ruffled collars, vast dresses, and giant wigs,
3 Which made it quite clear to everyone that she was sufficiently rwell bred to be obeyed.
4 She also understood the importance of doing things the Brit way,
5 Which is to say, the hard way.
6 For example, when she decided that Spain needed to be taught a lesson, she sent sSir Francis Drake against the tSpanish Armada with a smaller number of smaller ships equipped with fewer guns than the Spanish had.