|5 aAs we shall see.
6 Anyway, the Brits worked hard to become the Chosen Nation of Europe and the World,
7 And actually succeeded for quite a while,
8 Against all odds,
9 Which was their favorite way,
10 And the reason why they are so heartily detested by almost everyone.
11 This is their bstory.
CHAPTER 21 From the very beginning, the Brit culture was shaped by two peculiar preoccupations, these being,
2 cThe overriding importance of personal grooming,
3 And the absolute necessity of doing everything the hard way.
4 dEven when first discovered by Caesar,
5 Who looked under a lot of rocks he should have left alone,
6 The original Britons, as they called themselves then, were covered from head to toe in blue paint,
7 Which they thought natty,
8 And wasn't the last time they were dead wrong about something.
9 Caesar should have known better than to conquer the Britons,
10 eWho lived contrary to Roman philosophy, which holds that if a thing isn't easy, it isn't worth doing.
11 But Caesar didn't always follow the rules,
12 As we have seen,
13 fAnd conveniently died before the rest of the world discovered his mistake.
||CHAPTER 31 Subsequent Romans began to suspect that there was something wrong with the inhabitants of Great Britain,
2 Who kept rebelling,
3 Because it would have been too easy to just let the Romans build their roads and aqueducts and other gengineering projects in peace,
4 And so every few years, a hRoman legion or two would have to sail up to Britain and kill a bunch of Brits.
5 On some of these expeditions, the Romans discovered that the Brits had some even more unpleasant neighbors, called the Scots, who wore skirts,
6 And made their whole culture out of sheep intestines,
7 iWhich they used as food,
8 jAnd musical instruments,
9 And other things too.
10 Obviously, any people this stupid found it hard to understand that a handful of barbarian tribesmen shouldn't mess with a Roman legion.
11 Accordingly, a Roman general named Hadrian built a wall to keep the ksmell of sheep intestines out of Britain,
12 Not to mention the Scots themselves.
13 lUnfortunately, it never occurred to the Romans that it might be an even better idea to build a wall around all of Great Britain to keep the Brits out of the rest of the world.
CHAPTER 41 mAfter the fall of Rome, numerous barbarian tribes from the continent of nEurope decided that it was time to do something about the Britons.