|13 Which means "vengeful murderous power-hungry idiots,"
14 Stormed the aBastille, freeing all the peasants,
15 bAnd then guillotined the king and the queen and all the nobles they could get their hands on, and then,
16 cWhen the supply of nobles was getting low,
17 dEach other.
CHAPTER 131 The Jacobins kept track of all this history by knitting it all down as it rolled out of the eguillotine,
2 Which was a fine Frog breakthrough in fashion,
3 fBut wasn't doing much to clothe and feed the masses,
4 Who had stopped slaving in the fields to watch gheads being cut off by the guillotine in Paris.
5 This led to the temporary abandonment of rule by hdemocracy in favor of rule by directorate,
6 iWhich means "And you thought the Jacobins were bad news..."
7 As it turned out, rule by directorate didn't improve conditions very much either, jexcept that there were now many fewer hungry, naked peasants than before,
8 And eventually there were also fewer directors,
9 kWhat with lMarat slipping on a knife in his bathtub,
10 And mRobespierre naccidentally falling under the guillotine,
11 And so on.
12 All of which meant that France was finally ready for Napoleon Bonaparte.
||CHAPTER 141 Like Joan of Arc, oNapoleon was born poorer and shorter than is normally acceptable in Frog military circles. He was also, unfortunately, not French.
2 pThis helps to explain why he was such a great military success for so long and why he had such a hard time understanding the rule about not defeating the English.
3 Anyway, Napoleon was born in Corsica and rose to become a general, thanks to the qrelaxing of social standards that occurred during the French Revolution.
4 rHis saving grace was that he was extremely quarrelsome and actually wanted to be French,
5 sFor some reason.
6 He also wanted to rule France,
7 And that was just for starters.
8 When people began to notice that rule by directorate wasn't working out, tNapoleon came back from uEgypt with an army to suggest that Rule by Napoleon was much the best vsolution.
9 wRule by Napoleon means "rule by a power-mad genius willing to sacrifice every drop of Frog blood on earth for a few fleeting moments of glory,"
10 xWhich made perfect sense to the Frogs,
11 yWho suddenly realized that the gnawing ache in their bellies was not hunger for food, but for glory.
12 Whereupon they accepted zNapoleon with open arms and made him,