|CHAPTER 181 But just because people are trying to blame you for things,
2 That doesn't mean it has to astick,
3 No matter how specific they get,
4 Because you can always follow my next guideline,
5 Which involves remembering that when practically everybody isn't thinking about anything at all,
6 bTalk is always a substitute for action.
CHAPTER 191 For example, if the professional blamers point out that you've forgotten what quality is,
2 Then start talking about quality.
3 cPut the word "quality" in your company slogan,
4 dMake speeches about quality,
5 Put up a lot of eposters to remind your employees about quality,
6 And hire a whole bunch of new stupid people whose fjob it is to improve quality.
7 It doesn't matter at all that none of this will really improve quality,
8 Since quality is an obsolete ideal,
9 Based on obsolete concepts such as hard gwork,
10 hAnd pride,
11 iAnd personal responsibility,
12 And other nonsense like that.
13 jBut if you keep talking about quality, eventually everyone will stop trying to blame you when your products don't work, or fall apart the first time they try to use them,
||14 Because it's easier to find someone else to blame,
15 Or another thing to blame you for.
16 But that's not so bad either,
17 Because when they start blaming you for being slow and inept,
18 All you have to do is start talking about how fast and ept you're going to be,
19 kUntil everyone loses interest,
20 And goes on to something else,
21 And so forth,
22 And so on.
CHAPTER 201 Perhaps we should take a short break now. It is easily five minutes since we started, and I wouldn't want to exhaust your lattention spans.
CHAPTER 211 Feeling refreshed now?
3 I have to tell you that something occurred to me during the break.
4 Looking around at all your bright shiny faces,
5 I sensed that some of you just aren't following all this very well,
6 And then I realized that I've been wasting your valuable time with explanations,
7 And reasons,
8 And a lot of other useless irrelevant garbage like that,
9 Because you are corporate mCEOs,
10 And commercial nbank presidents,