|5 This is their astory.
CHAPTER 21 Nobody knows anything about the Spics before bCaesar discovered they were there,
2 Living in the Roman world, but not in the Roman way,
3 cWhich is to say they didn't have enough viaducts and roads and Roman troops marching back and forth.
4 dCaesar corrected this situation by conquering the Spics,
5 Which made history,
6 eBecause everything that Caesar did he wrote down in his own book of history,
7 So that hundreds of generations of schoolchildren could read about it.
8 That's how everybody else in the world found out the Spics were there,
9 Except the Spics, of course, who already knew they were there,
10 Which was lucky for them because they couldn't read anyway.
CHAPTER 31 Having been noticed by the world, the Spics had a hard time of it for a long while.
2 fSpain is mostly a desert, which means that the view consists mostly of hot sand,
3 And mirages, which are hallucinations caused by hot sand.
4 What with not reading and all, the Spics were unduly influenced by their gmirages, which made them believe that there was a land made completely of hgold,
||5 iSomewhere to the west,
6 Unfortunately for the west,
7 But before they could go there and steal all the gold, they needed some lessons on how to be exceptionally cruel and brutal and intolerant and bloodthirsty,
8 jWhich they got from the Moslems,
9 Who conquered Spain after the kDecline and Fall of Rome,
10 And taught the Spics plenty.
CHAPTER 41 When the Moslems had taught the Spics everything they knew, they finally left,
2 Which made it possible for Spain to become a civilized nation,
3 Which they did,
4 lSort of.
5 They built plenty of buildings and churches,
6 Having become thoroughly mChristian,
7 Since the Moslems had taught the Spics that it's impossible to become completely cruel and brutal and intolerant and bloodthirsty unless you believe in a major religion based on nLove Thy Neighbor and so forth.
8 Thanks to being Christian, they also embraced the odivine right of kings and pnobles and qserfs and so forth,
9 Which they adapted to their own particular style.
10 For example, unlike rEuropean nobles, Spic nobles thought it was a sign of sgood breeding that they couldn't read or write,
11 Which left them plenty of free time for riding thorses and sticking their uswords into anything that moved,