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26 aMaybe somebody will actually buy it,
27 bUnless that would soil your pristine integrity about art,
28 Which you are absolutely entitled to have,
29 cBecause there are no contradictions.

1 And then again, maybe you have no interest in the creative arts at all.
2 Maybe you're a brilliant academic instead,
3 And want to be a professor of art criticism,
4 Or history,
5 Or literature,
6 Or psychology,
7 Or philosophy,
8 Or even science.
9 If this is the path you prefer, you are in luck,
10 Because once again, there are only two rules you need to observe:
11 dFirst, remember that the only demonstrable good on this earth is the exclusive province of the Others,
12 Who always get it in the neck,
13 And who are always eright,
14 No matter what position they take,
15 On any issue,
16 fAnd even if they change their position from time to time,
17 gBecause there are no contradictions.
18 And if the Others ever change their position, then you must simply change your position right along with them,
19 Without thinking about it at all,
20 Because the Others are always,
21 And I mean always,
22 Dead right.

1 You will find that this first rule of the academic path makes all your scholarship marvelously easy and simple,
2 Because there will be no dilemmas to deal with,
3 No difficult decisions to make,
4 And no analysis needed.
5 For any question you may wish to inquire into,
6 Just look for the Others in the vicinity of your question,
7 And develop your positions and arguments accordingly,
8 Without thinking about it at all.
9 And if one set of hothers comes into conflict with another set of Others,
10 iRest assured that right is always on the side of the Others who are less white,
11 Less male,
12 Less western,
13 And less advanced technologically.

1 The second rule of the academic path is just as simple,
2 But just as important:
3 Do not break the jchain!
4 Ever!
5 Make sure you send your letter to the top name on the klist,
6 And follow the rest of the linstructions to the final detail,
7 Or else none of these paths will work out to your advantage,
8 mAnd the academic path in particular will bring you to ruin and misery.