Previous Table of Contents Next
9 Because that's exactly what they expect,
10 aAnd is therefore the surest way to please them.

CHAPTER 26
1 Another fertile field for the famous writer is demonstrating his opposition to nuclear holocaust,
2 bVia some clever satire that exposes the insanity of building doomsday weapons that can never be used,
3 Except that they will be,
4 Because the cmilitary or somebody is too stupid not to.
5 This kind of writing is very powerful and important,
6 dBecause the world is teeming with people who really like the idea of nuclear holocaust,
7 And constantly need to be reminded of all the complex truths associated with it,
8 eLike the fact that when everybody's dead,
9 fThere won't be anybody left,
10 Including all the people who are so gshortsighted that they really love the thought of nuclear war.
11 hNote that a work like this involves zero thought,
12 iAnd can be pulled off with a bunch of ham-handed, simpleminded devices that won't cost you even a moment's sleep at night.

CHAPTER 27
1 You can also write about history,
2 Which involves research and can lead to thought,
a.Ned.29.19-20
b.Yks.154.1-34
c.Forg.8.11-15
d.Ann.18.23
e.Oth.7.22
f.Oth.9.16-19
g.Ed.61.12-15
h.Mall.15.14
i.Mall.15.15
j.Psong.57.1-4
k.Psong.31.1-5
l.Psong.32.1-3
m.Psong.10.1-5
n.Psong.29.1-7
o.Hall.13.8
p.Swar.15.15-19
3 But not if you know well ahead of time what you think about what happened,
4 jAnd who's the villain,
5 And exactly which unspeakable evils you wish to highlight.

CHAPTER 28
1 kYou can also write almost endlessly about how tough it is be you,
2 lOr someone like you,
3 mOr the member of some oppressed minority,
4 nThe tougher the better,
5 Whether it is or not,
6 Because everybody knows that life is tough all over,
7 And they like to hear someone whine about it,
8 Because it reminds them that life is cruel and unfair and unjust,
9 And they're not the only ones who are whining and whimpering and complaining,
10 Which is always good to know.

CHAPTER 29
1 In fact, you can write about virtually anything in the real world,
2 On your path to fame,
3 As long as you always remember one essential guideline,
4 oWhich is that there are no real solutions,
5 And no real answers,
6 Because there is no such thing as truth.
7 You must therefore,
8 Like your artistic brethren,
9 pBe careful to confine your writing to rephrasing the same old questions in the same old ways,
10 Time after time after time,