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14 aWhich is exactly the same thing.
15 The second thing which can happen is that your straightforward approach will force you to think,
16 Which is very very bad,
17 Because thinking leads to all kinds of problems,
18 Like doubt,
19 And introspection,
20 bAnd inevitably, despair.
21 Therefore, remember that if you cultivate a sense of obscurity and abstruseness at all times,
22 You will find it both easier to write,
23 And easier to live.

1 Indeed, the path of art for art's sake is most notable for its ease.
2 Because it can be pursued successfully by almost anyone with a good command of grammar and vocabulary,
3 cAnd a really good dictionary of quotations,
4 Which is good news for you,
5 dBecause hardly anyone has real command of the language anymore,
6 And when you show off your excellent grammar and vocabulary,
7 Everyone will know that you are a great artist,
8 Even if you never think about anything at all.
9 For example, you can write in ironic terms about the emptiness of life in the shadow of imminent doom,
10 Without ever actually mentioning nuclear warfare or acid rain,
11 As long as you make some opaque reference to ewhat the thunder said,
12 And people will get the idea,
13 Even if they can't figure out the precise meaning of a single sentence.
14 fYou can write ironically and allusively about the tragedy of man's inhumanity to man,
15 Or woman,
16 Without presenting any new evidence,
17 Or adding any fresh ideas on the subject,
18 Because no one expects any fresh ideas from literature.
19 gWhat they expect from literature is that it go on writing ironically and allusively about the imminence of doom and man's inhumanity to man,
20 hBecause that is what they have learned to expect from serious literature,
21 And they will know that you are good or great,
22 Depending on how impossible it is to understand what you are saying in particular.
23 You can write about the general pain and anguish of existence,
24 Without ever having to experience the pain and anguish of existence,
25 Because it is incredibly easy to write about nothing at all,
26 iAnd insert a whole bunch of subtle literary allusions after the fact to inform the educated reader that what you are really talking about here is the pain and anguish of human existence,
27 Which they approve of,
28 Because that is your job,