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10 And send an exact copy of this revised letter to seven friends or acquaintances of your own.
11 aMoreover, if you cannot discover the ultra-secret symbol of Harry,
12 Then you are permitted to substitute five dollars instead,
13 Which may not put you in line for a Nobel or Pulitzer,
14 But will make you a whole ton of money,
15 Because the cleverest part of the chain is that only the most brilliant ones can succeed in discovering the ultra-secret symbol of Harry,
16 And everybody else will have to send money instead,
17 Or run the very grave risk of breaking the chain.

1 Not long ago, a Berkeleyite broke the chain,
2 And immediately afterwards had his financial aid revoked due to allegations of fraudulent income reporting by his parents,
3 Which absolutely everybody does,
4 And then he was rejected by every graduate school he applied to,
5 In spite of exceptional grades and the perfect GRE score achieved by the person who took the test for him.
6 Last month, a Harvardian broke the chain and was expelled for plagiarism, even though all his classmates had also copied the same source.
7 bJust last week, a Skidmoron broke the chain and had to sleep with her thesis adviser just to get a passing grade, even though she had earned highest honors.
8 And as I write this, I have just received word that a Brandeiser broke the chain and was instantly denounced in the school newspaper as a closet reactionary,
9 Which will certainly destroy her chance to enjoy a successful cacademic career,
10 Not to mention poison her standing in the Militant Lesbian Alliance,
11 Of which she had been the president for three consecutive semesters.

1 On the other hand, if you preserve the chain,
2 dThe one who receives your drawing of the ultra-secret symbol of Harry will know that you are one of the elect,
3 And so will many others in the chain,
4 Whereupon new doors will open to you,
5 As if by chance,
6 Although in this case, chance will have nothing to do with it,
7 Because the people in this chain are looking for a very special sort of person,
8 And any person who understands the text of this letter well enough to discover the eultra-secret symbol of Harry will automatically be identified as a very special person,
9 And will go far.
10 fFor truly you must already suspect that succeeding in the world of intellect involves more than intellect,
11 Or why would so many of your professors be drunken, indolent, lecherous idiots,