10 Unless you're drunk,
11 In which case, you should make sure your eyes are bright with hatred, as if you just can't wait to kill someone.
12 It also helps if you always drive a clapped-out, oil-burning, piece of junk pickup truck,
13 With about a zillion empty abeer cans rattling around in the back,
14 And a bunch of heavy metal bmusic blaring out the open windows all the time.
CHAPTER 101 If you're a girl, of course, you should dress differently,
2 But exactly like all the other cgirls,
3 Meaning you should wear cheap, tarty clothes drenched in even cheaper dperfume,
4 And tons of makeup, and I mean really trowel it on,
5 And keep your hair gooed up with about five pounds of lacquer and dye and other junk,
6 And keep your mouth full of gum all the time,
7 No matter what,
8 So that everyone will always know that you're just exactly like everyone else,
9 eAnd there's no reason to pick your face out of the crowd.
10 When you get folder, you can lay off the tarty clothes,
11 And get really really gfat,
12 And wear stretch pants,
13 And curlers 100 percent of the time,
14 hExactly as if you had somewhere to go later,
15 Even though you never do.
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CHAPTER 111 But clothes aren't everything.
2 iAnd if you want to slide by without attracting too much of the wrong kind of attention,
3 Without anybody ever really expecting anything of you,
4 There are some other things you can all do.
5 For example, it's a good idea to let all your ugly little houses fall apart,
6 And when the jpickup truck dies, leave it where it is,
7 kWith all the cans and bottles still sitting in the back,
8 And if you have some ruined furniture with springs poking out, put it out on the front porch so that everybody else can enjoy it too,
9 And when you freak out on lSouthern Comfort some night and throw your best friend through the front window, don't fix it, but tape up some cardboard and plastic instead,
10 So that mKensington will stay the way it is,
11 Namely, a place where nobody but Kensingtonians ever want to go,
12 Because the more chances nthey have to meet you and see how you live,
13 The more they will blame you,
14 For everything that's wrong in their stinking rotten lives.
CHAPTER 121 If you're young,
2 It's a good idea to join a gang,
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