THE ADVICE FOR THE ARCH-ANGEL MATTHEW FOR THE
KENSINGTONIANS

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CHAPTER 1
1 Yo, aKensington!
2 I have some advice for you,
3 Which I am sending you through the mail,
4 Because I know very well that you Kensingtonians debate with bbaseball bats instead of words,
5 And much as I would enjoy taking a turn at the plate myself, I have no time to play games with a bunch of cwhite trash like you,
6 Not right now, anyway,
7 So don't let your urine come to a boil,
8 Okay?

CHAPTER 2
1 You may have heard about Harry,
2 Who showed everyone the way a few years back,
3 dBefore he was suddenly called away to Rio.
4 What you may not know is that his way should also be your way,
5 eEven though you never went to college,
6 fAnd probably won't ever get rich,
7 Which is really the best way to get the most out of Harry's way,
8 gBecause of the things that can be counted, money is the thing that counts most.
a.Wil.58.1-8
b.Psay.5S.4-7
c.Vin.14.9
d.Vin.75.5
e.Vin.12.10
f.Vin.12.11
g.Psong.10.9
h.Vin.48.19-22
i.Kens.1.2
j.Ed.53.3
k.Ned.29.24
9 But even if you stay poor for the rest of your life,
10 Which is pretty likely,
11 hIt's going to be a big help to you to follow the Way of Harry.

CHAPTER 3
1 I know that a lot of people have tried to give you iadvice about how to live.
2 For example, I'm sure that some of your jteachers have suggested that you can have a better life by doing certain things,
3 Things like bathing and shaving more regularly,
4 And not drinking quite so much,
5 And not getting into so many fistfights,
6 And maybe finishing high school,
7 Or joining the army,
8 Or getting a steady job and a family and responsibilities,
9 kAnd other stuff too.
10 They've probably hinted around that if you do this kind of stuff, you'll have a chance to get ahead in life,
11 And make a contribution to society,
12 And be respected for your accomplishments.
13 Isn't that pretty much what they say?