Previous Table of Contents Next
7 Which is why I feel justified in getting right to the point,
8 Without a lot of additional professional courtesy.
9 We know what we're here about, don't we?
10 Good.

1 The physician who cares principally about money has many options,
2 Because whatever a physician does,
3 It's bound to cost somebody a lot of money,
4 Like the government and the insurance companies,
5 Not to mention the patient,
6 Whether the patient is ever healed or not,
7 Which is not a bad compensation plan,
8 aEspecially if what you care most about is money.
9 But the income-oriented physician,
10 If I may be so bold as to call you that,
11 Has to be careful of certain diseases and contaminations that other physicians don't have to worry about,
12 bBecause those other physicians spend all their time thinking about how to heal their patients,
13 Which immunizes them against certain kinds of infection,
14 Although this is definitely a case of the cure being worse than the disease,
15 Because spending so much time thinking about sick people is just urinating your life away,
16 If you don't mind me getting technical about it.
17 Anyway,
18 That's why I've gone to the trouble of documenting some of the ills an income-oriented physician runs the risk of contracting,
19 cAnd a prescription for what to do about it.

1 dparanoius digesticus.
2 This is a condition that afflicts medical personnel of all types,
3 But can be especially burdensome for the eincome-oriented physician,
4 For reasons I will explain in a moment.
5 The fact is that much of the continuously expanding income opportunity for physicians has been provided by the ongoing discovery of new kinds of ailments,
6 fWhich clever physicians discover under microscopes so that they can name their discoveries after themselves,
7 gWhile other physicians discover them between the pages of magazines so that they can convince their patients to pay for more prescription drugs.
8 Obviously, this is a medical practice that has succeeded spectacularly well over the years,
9 Because today, the average person suffers from infirmities and syndromes that people in the hmiddle ages were too ignorant to suffer from,
10 iLike Pre-Menstrual Syndrome,
11 jAnd Post-Traumatic Stress Syndrome,