|31 aWell, that's because there aren't any Others in the Suburbs,
32 bWhich is maybe why the little Striplings admire them so much,
33 Not to mention Dick and Jane,
34 Although I suppose we really Should,
35 Because they're just So mentionable,
CHAPTER T1 T is for Tests.
2 Which have to be Taken by the little Twerps,
3 Before Dick and Jane can Turn them over to some other Teacher,
4 For another Try at the Three R's.
5 See Dick and Jane grading cTests?
6 How Tolerant they are of Tiny little errors on the True/false section!
7 How Tactful they are in not Tearing up those Tragic little essays!
8 How Tempted they are to pass everyone!
9 Well, isn't that Terrific?
10 dWhat Talented Teachers Dick and Jane must be!
11 As it Turns out, not even one of the little Thugs will have to repeat the Term!
CHAPTER U1 U is for the eUnion,
2 Which is the only entity in the fUniverse that really Understands Dick and Jane's needs,
||3 And how truly Unfortunate it is that everyone else is Usually so Uncooperative,
4 gWhich is why Dick and Jane are so Underpaid,
5 And so Under-appreciated,
6 And so likely to Undertake another hstrike,
7 Unless the school board takes their idemands Under advisement,
8 jAnd Underwrites another huge raise.
9 See the school board,
10 Under the gun?
11 See Dick and Jane,
12 Under a kpicket sign?
13 See all the Harriers,
14 Under the sun?
CHAPTER V1 V is for lVandalism.
2 Which is the only skill the little Varmints excel at,
3 Unless you count mVenereal pursuits,
4 And nVarsity sports,
5 Which is why it's so Very important not to be too Vindictive about punishing them,
6 Because if you Value your children,
7 It's more Virtuous to Validate their good behavior than to Victimize them for petty Villainies,
8 Especially if you don't want them to Vivisect your oVolvo,
9 Because V is also for pVengeance,
10 If you're a Harrier.
CHAPTER W1 W is for the World,
2 Which all the little Whining Weasels couldn't know less about,