Previous Table of Contents Next
1 aE is for Education.
2 Except that it isn't,
3 bBecause Education isn't Easy,
4 Which is what E is for,
5 If you're following the way of Harry.

1 F is for the only word that every child in the Most Chosen Nation knows how to spell,
2 Which is a Fantastically Flexible word,
3 Because it means whatever you Feel it should.
4 It's a Fortunate word too,
5 Because it's also the only word that Dick and Jane still know how to spell,
6 If they're Following the Way of Harry,
7 Because the Way of Harry gives everyone at least one thing in common,
8 Just for Fun.

1 G is for Getting by,
2 cWhich is the Great unifying Goal of the entire educational system in the Most Chosen Nation in the whole history of the planet.
3 See Dick and Jane Getting by?
4 See the little Garbage-mouths in their classroom Getting by?
5 Well, that's because you don't quite Get the Way of Harry yet.
6 You've Got to understand that Getting by will have a different meaning in each dGeneration from now on,
7 As long as the Hillites keep doing their jobs according to the Way of Harry.
8 For example, the next Generation may not have to know how to spell even the one word they know how to spell now,
9 Because the Goal of Getting by is a lot like eGravity,
10 And Goads everyone and everything in the same direction all the time,
11 Gradually,
12 But equally,
13 Which means that it is not only the Way of Harry,
14 fBut also a Grand tradition of the Most Chosen Nation on Earth.

1 gH is for Hygiene.
2 Which the little Hellions absolutely have to learn,
3 Because nothing spoils a school year for Dick and Jane like having five or six or seventeen of their little hHotpants Hussies get knocked up over Christmas vacation,
4 Which just isn't necessary,
5 Because fully Half the school library is about How to Have sex without Having Babies,
6 Including Horribly Helpful little iaudio tapes,
7 So that even the Hardcore Hardheads can Hear Handy Hints about Humping without Heartache,
8 Which don't Halt the Horny little Harlots from taking Huge risks,
9 Because H is also for Hormones,
10 Which are Highly Hazardous,