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5 And they didn't want any Consolation,
6 aBecause they were going to heaven pretty soon,
7 Which was all they wanted out of life,
8 What with things being the way they were in the bMiddle East,
9 Which proved everything,
10 So that there could be no doubt about it,
11 Unless you hadn't been cborn again,
12 But were still just going through the motions of being a Christian,
13 Like most of the stuffy upper-middle-class Christians,
14 Who weren't going to be saved,
15 But would go to hell pretty soon,
16 Just like they deserved,
17 dWhich gave Joe the idea of talking to Presbyterians, and Catholics, and Episcopalians, and Lutherans, and even some of the less excitable Baptists,
18 Who all turned out to be very extremely interested in Consolation,
19 Because they had so little to do in their spare time,
20 Now that they didn't think about anything at all anymore,
21 eSince that's what the government is there for.

1 fTony figured that the best way to carry the Word of Harry to the colleges and universities was to trade his Silver Ghost in for a gVolvo,
2 And buy a whole bunch of degrees with the money he got back,
3 And then start an academic career,
4 So that he could meet them on their own terms,
5 Or something like that.
6 But when he started introducing the Word of Harry at faculty cocktail parties and so forth,
7 It turned out that they weren't interested in the Word of Harry at all,
8 hBecause Harry didn't have any degrees in philosophy or psychology or physics or literature or history or art or natural science or anything,
9 And so how could he possibly matter?
10 When Tony tried to explain that Harry wasn't challenging what anybody had figured out in those fields,
11 iBut was only kind of pulling it all together so that everyone could see what it meant,
12 jThey laughed at him and ridiculed him,
13 kBecause it just wasn't possible for anyone to get doctoral degrees in philosophy and psychology and physics and literature and history and art and natural science and all the other fields you'd need a doctoral degree in,
14 lAnd so it clearly wasn't possible to pull all those disciplines together into one big picture of what it all meant,
15 mAnd what was he trying to pull anyway?
16 Thereupon, Tony changed his tune,
17 And started talking about how hard it was to get tenure,
18 And how hard it was to pay off all his student loans,
19 And how hard it was to find academic topics to write articles and books about, because the department chairman was such a selfish, unscrupulous, npyrotechnical anus,