|9 Preaching in the pulpit,
10 To a churchful of empty pews.
CHAPTER 541 Harry was speaking,
2 And his voice was thick.
3 And his words were slurred,
4 aBecause he had had a lot of champagne to drink,
5 But he was having an excellent time,
6 And there was no point in interrupting him,
7 Because there was no one around who might wish to chastise him,
8 For having so much bfun in church.
CHAPTER 551 O poor miserable Christian csinners, Harry was saying,
2 How I wish that I had something to offer you of equal value to what he offers,
3 But as you can see, I wear no dcrown of thorns,
4 eAnd there are no holes in my hands,
5 And I am not strung up on a cross,
6 Which means that I am not dying for you,
7 fAnd never will,
8 Which is why you still prefer him to me.
CHAPTER 561 Yes, what joy can possibly compare with the joy of knowing that someone else has gdied for you,
2 In your place,
3 So you won't have to,
4 And can just pretend to feel really grateful and obligated for the rest of your life,
||5 Because somebody all-powerful is taking care of all the details?
6 Truly, this combines all the greatest pleasures of life into a single perfect package.
7 First there is the pleasure of hgetting away with something you might have gotten nailed for yourself,
8 So to speak.
9 iSecond, there is the pleasure of watching somebody else endure pain and suffering and death,
10 Somebody jbig and important, I might add,
11 Which makes it even more pleasurable.
12 Third, there is the ineffable pleasure of feeling like an kinsider,
13 Because you got saved and not everyone else will.
14 And finally, there is the truly great pleasure of lhating everyone who does not buy the whole story,
15 Hook, line, and sinker.
CHAPTER 571 How can I, Harry, compete against such a powerhouse?
2 In all humility, I cannot.
3 I am only Harry,
4 A paltry mmortal just like you.
5 My father is not a god, but a superficial njingoistic jerk.
6 My mother was not a virgin,
7 Or at least no one ever claimed she was.
8 oAnd I am totally unwilling to mount a pcross in the name of the message I bring you.