3 And what with all the general relief about not being dead like almost everybody else,
4 aSome of them even thought it might be nice to have some fun for a change.
5 bIt turned out, quite unexpectedly, that there were a lot more ways of having fun than there were of having no fun to speak of.
6 Only, still being Christians, they decided they needed a cname for what they were about to do,
7 dA name that sounded important and worthwhile,
8 And not frivolous and esinful.
9 A name like f"Rebirth" would have been perfect,
10 But because not many of them spoke gEnglish,
11 Except the ones who lived in hEngland, of course,
12 They wound up calling it the i"Renaissance" instead,
13 Which means "Go for it!"
CHAPTER 21 Some of them thought it would be fun to stop painting pictures of jdead saints for a while,
2 kAnd paint some pictures of naked ladies instead.
3 They were right.
4 In fact, painting pictures of naked ladies turned out to be so much fun that sculptors decided to make statues of naked ladies,
5 lAnd poets wrote poems about naked ladies,
6 And the naked ladies got so prosperous that they could eat as mmuch as they wanted,
7 nAnd they did,
8 Which is why the Renaissance was absolutely wall to wall with ofat naked ladies.
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9 The most prosperous, and therefore the pfattest, naked ladies worked for a Giant named Rubens,
10 Who thought that a naked lady wasn't worth painting at all if she didn't weigh at least qthree hundred pounds.
11 A Giant named rTitian thought that two hundred and fifty pounds was plenty as long as they had nice breasts,
12 And a Giant named Botticelli thought that sheer poundage wasn't as important as a completely sbloated belly.
13 tDifferences of opinion like this caused big arguments between the Giants,
14 Which caused them to split up into different "artistic schools."
15 uFor example, one "school" believed in painting plenty of cellulite,
16 While another "school" believed in painting skin so white that it looked sickv,
17 wAnd still another "school" believed in covering up certain controversial parts of the body with flying patches of gauze.
18 xBut all the schools were learning plenty about all the things you could do with ynaked ladies,
19 Which is why art was one of the most popular things to do in the Renaissance.
CHAPTER 31 zFinding excuses for painting naked ladies became a major quest of the Renaissance.
2 It would have been aaheretical to paint a lot of pictures of naked lady saints,
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